Recent
We each travel down different roads through our lives. Sometimes we meet and other times we just miss each other in the storms and distractions.
The observations on this page are written in the present. They represent my thoughts as I attempt to understand my life and the things I see. They are little discussions I have with myself from time to time.
These thoughts may seem to bounce all over the place for no reason. Well, that is how my mind works. I write things down as I think of them, or maybe just because I think them important. Perhaps I just want to have my say. We all suffer losses during our lives. We all witness things we do not understand. Sometimes it helps to just write them down and tell someone. Some are in the form of short observations. Some are opinion. Some are prose.
Most recent writings are at the top.
Little things I love
I love walking in the rain.
I can cry and no-one notices.
The greatest gift
Yesterday is history.
Just set it adrift.
Tomorrow is a mystery.
Today is the gift.
Reminiscing and missing you
Got some old music on,
the kind we used to listen to
so many years ago,
feeling lonely
missing you
missing you.
So I called again tonight
the sound of your voice
we hardly spoke
and soon hung up
satisfied together
till next time I call
till next time the music's on
till next time I'm missing you.
Goodbye America
few words tonight
nothing good to say
watching a once great nation
silently fade away
for more than a hundred years
you led the world from darkness
the first true experiment
in individual freedom and fairness
it was too good to last some say
there is an opportunity though
but is there enough time
and do you have enough ammo...
the world watches silently
all the lies on television
thinking they are safe
too late for another Boston
how wrong they are
there is no safe haven
anymore, anywhere
from what is now comin'...
Walkin' into slow hell
America, the only free country that ever was, the great experiment in individual freedom, did it right for a few years when they kicked the asses of the English and drove them back across the sea.
Wish they'd gone all the way back to the bankers and the moneylenders, and the elite of Europe, and finished the job! Before the world can be free again, someone will have to...
Then there was Canada, that Rothschild's possession, led by men who were traitors before they walked. I smile when Canadians say they love their country, and pin a fake red flower on one day a year, in remembrance of the men who died fighting for a freedom they never had, for lies they would never remember. How easy it is to forget. I used to say that Canada was a country in name only. That was only half true. Canada, constantly under the hard fist of the fascist English monarchy and banks, berift of any leaders who understood a promise made, always was a country in name only. Canada never had a chance.
But America. America did. The first real experiment in individual liberty and freedom. And it isn't over yet. Watch America. 2008 and 2009 are going to be a time of blood and hell. The feel of freedom dies hard.
Goodbye
The day is heavy with thunder
the lightening strikes again
two great men are gone
Uncle Billy and my friend Ken
two men who deserved more time
but each would agree I'm sure
their time here was well spent
among friends and love so pure
I will miss you Uncle Bill and Ken
but it's time to say goodbye
I loved and respected you both
why do the good ones have to die
God bless
see you soon...
All there needs to be
Blue tonight
my eyes
memories
hard to paint
so I'm retreated back
into my world
of old songs
thank God
for the old songs
they're still the best
sliding back to my world
of brush and paint
back to where
I want to be
no radio
no television
no newspaper
no lies
just my brushes
and my paints
and the one friend
that's always there
every time I need it
my music...
the rain's on the wind
the trees are answering
the music is playing
that's all there is
that's all there needs to be...
Just say no
Many ages ago
in another time
to control mankind
they devised a plan...
They wrote a book
like they'd done before
and set up a system
based on fear and war...
But to all of you
who sense there's more
the lie is dying
do not ignore...
Listen, listen
you have a choice
now is the time
to raise your voice...
It's all a lie
there is no God
Jesus never lived
it's all a fraud...
To these evil men
of long ago
who still live today
just say no...
Just say no!
We cry together
Every time I think of you
I smile and then I cry with you.
Where have all the lovers gone?
What can be said
of a world where
it is no longer safe
to be vulnerable?
Where we are told
to be afraid
to fall in love
like we used to?
Where have all the lovers gone?
Never growing up
Many years ago when I was a child growing up in a small town in rural Manitoba I was given a little microscope kit that had three powers and came with a package of glass slides. I remember one day when I went out to a small pond, a slough actually, just outside of town, looking for something to look at, something small. Something new. I bent down and dipped one of the glass slides into the brackish water and slipped it under my little microscope, lay down on my stomach and took a look.
This first look opened up a world that I didn't know existed up until then. A world of little creatures swimming and darting about. I watched and watched in a kind of awe that only a child could know. At that moment, without knowing, I made a decision. I didn't even know that I made it but I did. I decided never to grow up. This new little world was available to me because I decided to take a look. I had no idea when I dipped that glass slide into the dirty water what I would see. I knew of tadpoles and mosquito larva of course. However these were much smaller, but just as real.
Since then I have dipped my glass slide into many different ponds and observed many different worlds, worlds that I would never have noticed if I had not remained a child. I always hesitate to take the common view or answer, preferring instead to 'think different', to think like a child. As a result life to me has remained one long adventure of discovery and I don't wish it to ever end. I know it never will. I know because I'm never going to grow up. Never.
Breaking even
Throughout my whole life I just wanted to break even. I'm almost there I think...
Soon there will be no more red flowers...
I went for a hike today. I got out in the bush with my camera, alone for awhile. After a couple hours I stopped for a breather. I sat down and looked around at my country. It is times like this that I realize how beautiful a country Canada is, and how lucky we are to live here. I am proud of Canada. I am. I'm just not proud to *be* a Canadian right now. There's a difference.
Canada used to be a proud nation. I remember standing in the barnyard outside our farmhouse near Melita, Manitoba in 1942 when I was about three. A squadron of planes passed overhead, on their way to Europe and the war. One of the planes dipped its wings. That was the custom when they flew over a town or city of someone on board. I knew uncle Billy was on that plane. I remember my grandmother crying, not much, but a little.
I remember when I was about four years old and was in a park in Essex, Ontario during the last year of WWII. The grownups were burning the effigy of Hitler and singing songs. I had already lost two uncles. We didn't know if there would be more. I found out later in life that there was one more. He was only 16 years old when he died, alone, in the mud of WWII. 16 years old. Alone.
These are the reasons why I have no patience. Canada has become irrelevant. I do not understand people who cannot see what is happening, who refuse to understand what they are doing to our country.
Wearing a red flower for one day a year is not enough. Soon there will be no more red flowers. What will they wear then?
Why I support the United States of America
After watching President G. W. Bush's State of the Union speech tonight, February 2, 2005, I am finally able to compare my thoughts of our closest neighbour and Canada in two lines.
While America aspires to greatness,
Canada aspires to just get along...
What a difference.
Added in November, 2007
When I wrote this I was thinking of Americans,
not the political leaders.
Today I am ashamed of what the political leaders of America
have done and are doing to their country.
One war after another for the last 100 years,
and it appears there is no end.
You can't force democracy on people
at the barrel of a gun.
When one reads the Constitution of America,
one marvels at the simplicity and yet power,
of those few beautiful words.
Perhaps soon real Americans will tire of their leaders
and toss them out on the trash pile of history.
where they belong.
The sooner the better...
The worst of times...
Sometimes, when events are at their worst,
they are the most powerful and disturbing.
They change our lives in fundamental ways
we could never imagine at the time.
I miss you mom and dad
Mom and Dad,
one day you left me
but I never left you...
I want you to know
that I needed you
and I still do.
I know you were proud of me,
but not nearly as much
as I am proud of you now.
I know you loved me,
and I know you know
I loved you just as much.
Someday we will talk,
and you can tell me why.
I really want to know.
Mom and Dad,
one day you left me
but I never left you...
Goodnight Eileen
Isn't it strange
how you feel so close
to someone you rarely saw
but that you suddenly miss so much?
You were my friend,
from another life,
so very far away,
yet so close, so close.
It seems like yesterday
that we lay on our backs
out on the end of our dock
scanning the skies for Sputnics.
I will always remember with love,
your laughs and smiles and jokes.
Old memories are creeping back,
and I smile with you once more.
You occupied a better part of my life.
A lighter, fun and special part.
Till we meet again, somewhere,
goodnight Eileen. I love you.
Passing easy
I don't want to pass easily through this life.
I want to know that I've been somewhere special
when I leave.
I have no idea where I came from
or what is expected of me when I'm here.
But this one thing I've already learned...
It is better to be a lonely lover
than in the company of strangers
who don't really care.
Lost in music and memories of you
Layed back tonight
listenin' to music
so many great songs
I don't know how to choose.
So I click the first link
and fall into memories
glad for the chance
to lose my blues for awhile.
I owe so much
to my friends the singers
who pour their souls
so I can hang onto mine.
Melancholy, some tears even
old memories take over
and I lose track of where I am
thinkin' of you and another time.
Lost in music
and memories of you...
We get what we deserve
If you want the world to be a better place,
conduct yourself accordingly.
Smile more often.
Be good to yourself and to others.
Sing if you can, and even if you can't.
Keep all your old love letters.
Accept that life is a crapshoot.
Learn how to shoot crap.
Enjoy your body.
Go and find someone to love,
and enjoy their body.
Respect others.
Understand that if you have a problem in your life,
you are either part of the problem
or part of the solution.
Understand that, in the end,
despite what some will tell you,
the most important things in life
really are black and white.
Let people know where you stand,
and be prepared to change your mind
if you are proven wrong...
Measuring up
The measure of a person is what happens
when nothing works, and you have the
courage to go on anyway.
A gentle and beautiful man
John Denver was a gentle man,
a quiet and polite singer-poet.
He sang gentle songs of wonder,
of walks in the rain,
and softly falling snow.
He sang of quiet moonlit nights,
and high mountain passes,
of destiny and the soul, and love.
He sang of times to be strong,
and times when you didn't need to be.
I will never forget the lines;
"Will the world remember when all the lovers are gone?"
and "Sunshine on my shoulders makes me happy."
and "You are in my heart, and living there."
and "Talk of poems and prayers and promises..."
Thank God for the singers,
who forever voice apologies for the rest of us,
who always put into words our desperate cries for love.
Thank you John Denver, for your songs of love and humility.
The world will not be the same without you.
Why do all the good people have to die..?
If each day were a little longer
Have you ever noticed how many things
that people say are bad for you
are often the most enjoyable?
So, what should we do about it?
Well, it didn't take me long to figure that out.
The problem I'm having now is
how to fit them all into each day.
What kind of world do you want to live in?
I know that few things in life are black and white,
but I believe that the most important things are.
If we have values and believe in them,
we should be prepared to stand up for them.
There are too many people who look the other way,
unless it involves them directly.
They are the floaters. They come and go
and no-one ever notices. Yet they come into the world
with so much promise. Their loss. They will be replaced...
To all the preachers in the world
I speak of God often in my work.
But He is not the same God
you worship once a week.
He is a different God.
He is the God within each man, woman and child.
Don't for one minute think he is your God.
When I ask you about your God,
and why He allows the atrocities
committed daily by men against women, children and other men,
why He seems to turn a blind eye and appear not to care,
you say "He does not get involved in the comings and goings of men."
"He is only concerned with the big picture."
What a pile of crap.
Tell that to the child who has just been raped,
or to the woman who is being abused and humiliated daily,
or to the hooker who has just been strangled and left for dead.
Tell them that they do not matter to your God.
Tell them. I dare you.
To preachers everywhere I ask you,
would you be doing what you do if no-one paid you to do it?
How much of what you say do you really believe?
Or is it just a job, like garbage collection or street cleaning?
You speak of things you will never understand,
and pretend you actually know, worse yet care.
You are very good at fooling people.
You would do well as carnival hucksters,
all of you...
Another chapter in the fraud
Here we go again,
another chapter in the greatest fraud
ever perpetrated on mankind.
The film "The Passion" has just opened
and the sheep are flocking to it in droves.
So be it. Who cares. Not me.
Have I seen this film you ask?
No, I have better things to spend my money on.
Would I see it if it were free?
No, I have better things to spend my time on.
I would rather watch the sunset.
At least it means something.
Sadly, there will be more of this kind of fraud
because there is more to be gained this time.
There is quick money to be made.
And so there will be more because,
as someone who knew once said,
there's a sucker born every minute.
It is interesting though, how many churches
are buying tickets for anyone who wants one
and then inviting them back to their church,
to "discuss" the show of course.
Quite a membership drive.
These guys never miss a bet.
Listening
When I read poetry,
I have to learn how to listen
all over again.
Searching for love for all the wrong reasons
All my life I have said that love is everything,
that love is the one real refuge
in a world that really doesn't care.
But have I been searching for all the wrong reasons?
Maybe I've used it to hide in rather than build on,
the way an alcholic uses alcohol,
the way a drug addict shoots up.
Is there really any difference?
I go from time to time when I can see you.
Between those times I exist, until the next time.
"We get shit on every day and we wonder why we feel dirty."
Maybe it's a good thing to hide together sometimes.
I think it does refresh the soul, washes off some of that shit.
And so I will see you again, and again,
and I will strive to be more patient between our visits.
I will learn how to be alone and enjoy it.
I will work harder, and strive to be happier.
I will learn how to sleep alone...
Why worry? Just do it.
It has always baffled me
how some people govern their lives.
They do things they don't really want to do,
and don't do things they would love to do,
all because of other people's values and morals.
Daily they wring their hands in fear,
not knowing that they are God.
"No, I shouldn't do that. What will people think?"
If they only knew that no-one cares,
no-one is watching...
Princess Diana
The people of the world lost their princess last
night,
and today I cry with them.
It was just a tragic accident, but people will blame others.
They will blame the photographers who were chasing them,
as if they were solely responsible.
And then these same people will rush out and buy
the tabloid rags these photographers worked for,
to read about the story today, not realizing what they do.
People always get what they deserve in any society.
Today the people lost their princess
and they blame others, as if they were blameless,
not knowing that they are the market, the reason,
for these rude and exploitive people to exist,
to act the way they did.
It truly is a shitty world sometimes.
Since writing this I've decided that Diana was murdered.
A place for lovers
When I write poetry
I am transported to another place.
A place where lovers gather.
A place where people are gentle and kind,
and patient with each other.
When I feel impatient and lonely,
and depressed with the world and myself,
I sit down and write poetry.
It is the greatest release
and the safest refuge I have found.
If I could...
If I could I would
gather up all the men
in your life who hurt you,
and wipe them from
your experience forever.
Character, class and clothes
It doesn't matter
how new your clothes are
or even how clean they are.
What matters is
the way you wear 'em...
Shipwrecked?
Sometimes I feel like a visitor on earth
from somewhere else, more spirit than flesh.
I'm not sure that I chose to be here,
maybe I did, maybe I didn't, I can't remember...
Perhaps it doesn't matter.
Why can't I touch you?
You reach out constantly to touch others
whom you perceive need your help.
But when I reach out to touch you,
you recoil back in fear.
Why? I don't understand.
Do you believe?
Do you believe in God?
Do you believe in Jesus?
Do you really know?
How do you know?
Does it really matter?
It amazes me how we can put so much faith
in a book written in a time when people were being
burned at the stake or stoned to death for nothing.
Come to think of it, it's still happening today
in the same part of the world,
by the same kind of people...
Lemmings everywhere
It's you again. You, who have abdicated
all the important decisions in your life,
and expect me to do also.
You, who care more about
what others think of you
than what you think of yourself.
Everywhere I look I see you.
You are like mindless little lemmings,
all marching to the same stupid drummer.
Best that you all follow each other
over the cliff and into the sea.
There are far too many of you.
Daily you stick your hangups in my face.
With a smile and a concerned look
you try to "set me straight",
to "save my life", you pathetic little wimps.
You wallow helplessly in a sewer of your own making,
trying desperately to drag others down to your level.
The world would be a better place without you.
Be Jesus for a day
What do you believe in?
What do you stand for?
What are you prepared to give up
for your values?
Or do you even have any of your own?
For once in your miserable life
why don't you stand up and be noticed.
Rather than accepting the decisions of others,
make some for yourself.
Be Jesus for a day.
It's A fucked up world
It's a fucked up world today.
What is it with this male/female thing?
I'm surrounded by male macho bastards
and women's rights activists.
I can't stand the company of the former,
and I just don't know how to handle the latter any more.
I don't know what to say to either of you.
We have nothing in common.
Either you are a man first,
or you are a woman first,
or you are a person first.
You can be only one, first.
It has nothing to do with color.
It has nothing to do with race.
It has nothing to do with gender.
It has everything to do with respect.
To women's rights activists everywhere I say,
if you have a problem with men,
take it up with them. Deal with it.
Don't stick it in my face.
Never once have I raised a finger against you,
or raised my voice in anger.
I have always treated everyone as equals.
It never occured to me to do otherwise.
But you insist on treating all men equally.
I'm sick and tired of your generalizations.
It just isn't fair. Or does that even matter to you
in your fucked up little world.
The abusers
Men who abuse women and children
are cowards of the worst kind.
I warn you, stay out of my world.
Your life is not safe with me.
Garbage
If you want your kids to act right, you gotta treat
'em right.
Garbage in - garbage out.
Seems like we're living in a garbage world these days.
And we wonder why some kids show no respect.
Counting our blessings
It's evening, and the sun has just set.
I'm in my little home, the fireplace is on,
the music is on, and I am on...
I used to experience this feeling
earlier in my life, when I painted,
when I had a reason to paint...
I dedicate this little poem to all the lovers
who are alone tonight, but are not really alone.
We are just searching for each other, remember..?
And we must keep on searching.
What a lovely way to spend the time.
It's the journey, not the destination...
We are all visitors from another place.
We are here to learn and be happy.
We have a right to be happy...
Hello Francina
Thank you for your email tonight,
but when I answered it you weren't there.
How lovely it was to hear from you.
How lovely to have this internet.
My little poem for you...
Days and nights of love
I wish you sunny days
filled with love
and friends,
and moonlit nights
filled with love
and lovers...
God is Love
In our search for a reason
we turn to God.
We attend church.
We read the bible.
We pray for guidance
and for those we love.
But we never seem to find Him,
and so we feel alone...
We are told to have faith.
We are told that God cares
but we can never be sure.
And when our faith is shaken
we rebel against our idea of God
not knowing that we are seeking
a God that does not exist,
and so we feel alone...
But God is not someone to pray to.
He is not someone to seek counsel with.
He is found in the love we give unasked,
and in the love we have in our hearts
for the world and all things in it.
If we fill our hearts with love we will know God,
because God is Love.
Mary Baker Eddy was right...
Touching
Every once in a while
in our travels through this world
we meet someone and something happens,
and there is no turning back.
From that point on the world becomes
a different and enchanting place,
because we have fallen in love.
There is nothing we can do to protect ourselves.
And why should we?
We have become vulnerable,
and it feels so good to be alive.
We have something to live for,
someone to care about.
We are in love.
Gentleness and tenderness
become our call to arms,
our reason to live.
Flowers become important.
Sunsets and music and candles.
A stroll in the park, going to a movie,
holding hands and touching.
Always touching...
God's message to you
Life is good.
Indulge yourself.
God's message to you...
Gods in evolution
Years ago a friend gave me some advice.
He said there are things we will never know,
can never know, and aren't supposed to know.
And many times we will run across ideas
that we don't understand.
But rather than tossing them aside,
we should file them away for future use,
for a time when we will understand.
I don't know about you but I've noticed that
I've sure been filing a lot of things away lately.
Why do I feel so sad?
There are many things that make us happy.
Just cooperating with life makes us happy.
Accepting the world as it is makes us happy.
Letting go and letting be makes us happy.
Accepting our loved ones as they are makes us happy.
When I am with you I feel happy.
When I accept you as you are I feel happy.
When I feel happy I feel free.
So the objective for me is to be happy.
Why then do I feel so sad?
Maybe it's because, in our hectic race through life,
we just don't see enough of each other.
The luckiest man
When I think of you I think of us.
Thinking of us makes me feel
like the luckiest man in the world.
You have no idea how much you mean to me.
I don't know the words to tell you...
My very own mirage
When I am with you
you are like a mirage in my desert.
You are always out there, in the distance,
hovering like some angel.
But each time I try to get a little closer
you drift away,
and when I reach out to touch you
you disappear and reappear again,
always in the distance.
When I am not with you
you remind me of the northern lights,
here one second and gone the next,
flitting in and out of my mind,
never long enough to touch,
never long enough to become
anything more than just a vision,
a light in my future
that I know I will never turn on.
The final test
We can love the mountains,
a walk in the park,
good books and good music,
without the need to own any of them.
Why then can't we love a person
without needing to own them?
Making love a gift rather than a request
is the final test in this leg of our journey.
To do otherwise is to remain mired
in miserable, selfish emotions
that rob us of our final destiny on earth,
which is to simply enjoy our lives.
To be remembered for...
I would like to be remembered as
a man who always made time,
understood the value of a friend,
and enjoyed the simple things in life.
Our lives are made up of precious little moments...
walks in the rain with a friend,
candlelit dinners with our loved one,
coffee with someone in a sidewalk cafe.
I want to be remembered as a man
who understood what was really important
and made time for the little things
and for his friends to share them with...
each and every time they called.
In the end nothing matters
Wake up and enjoy yourself and your life.
Soon the person you think you are will die.
This is as it should be.
There is no end and no beginning.
There is only the everflowing sea of life
that we are each a part of.
Even though I've spent most of my life searching,
I've finally come to realize that
there never was a need to search.
Love is the only reality in the world.
And so now I am only searching
for someone to love.
I used to meditate. I made time to close my eyes and drift off.
Then I realized that meditating was much too important
to limit to just one hour each day.
Now I meditate all the time, in every action and thought.
And I enjoy the simplest things.
I relish everything I do and say. I feel young again.
Only by throwing away our concerns
can we relax into the world.
There is no need to resist life.
We just need to do our best.
We have a right to be free.
Happiness is the purest emotion of all.
Once we open our eyes we will see
that we are far more than we imagine.
We are really the world, the universe, God.
By giving love first we are really confirming
the love we have for ourselves,
that we are Gods in the making.
In the end nothing matters except love.
Children
We need to learn how to be a child again.
Children live in the present easily,
never too concerned about tomorrow,
and quickly forgetting the past.
Children know instinctively how
to enjoy every little detail.
Children have much to teach us.
They should be running the schools,
and us grownups should be attending them.
Wanted
Like the great train robber of the mind said,
when he saw his image on a wanted poster;
"I've been needed for so long,
it feels good to be wanted for awhile..."
Enjoying less
The secret to happiness
is not found in seeking more,
but in the capacity to enjoy less.
What we are
Most of what we are
is nothing more than a series of bad habits.
And we take ourselves so seriously...
Your very own Phoenix
Life is a game.
Play the game without concern.
Nothing matters.
Everything matters.
The choice is yours.
Lighten up.
Throw yourself into the fire with passion,
and rise from the ashes,
your very own Phoenix...
The predictable lover
It is so easy to be a victim.
It is so easy to blame others for our refusal to choose.
And yet we search for that "perfect" someone.
Someone who will reflect our dishonesty about ourselves.
Someone who will share our fantasies and limitations.
Someone who will pretend, just as we always have.
Do we honestly believe we can enjoy and respect a predictable lover?
This is not passion. This is usury.
Sometimes we are afraid that no-one will love us.
But if we give ourselves completely and love unconditionally,
we will come to realize that we are really loving ourselves.
So I say, love unconditionally, and with respect.
Give love first and ask nothing in return.
Surrender yourself to perpetual and irreversible passion.
You will be rewarded beyond your wildest dreams,
rich with none of the responsibilities of material wealth.
This is your choice and yours alone.
It is so easy to make. Make it. Make it.
The Lover
I always thought I was a lover.
But after knowing you for awhile
I have decided that you are the lover
and I am still learning...
Live creatively
To live creatively
one needs to always ask questions,
to try one thing and then another,
to always be a searcher.
Some things work, some things don't.
We are not perfect.
Therefore it is OK to fail,
just as it is OK to succeed.
We need to remember this.
"We are not perfect."
Forgiving ourselves for not being perfect
open's the door to living unafraid.
Living unafraid allows us to live creatively.
Living creatively gives us a chance to grow.
And only by growing can we proceed safely and surely
down the path we have chosen.
To do otherwise is to drift aimlessly, going nowhere.
Living lonesome
When you are with the one you love
anyplace can feel like "home".
But when you must live alone
you need to create an "extra special place"
where you can feel comfortable and loved.
Make your home "homey",
and comfortable, and lived in.
Surround yourself with plants,
because they are alive and you can speak to them.
Surround yourself with ornaments
and sculpture, and good books and art,
because they are creations of the artist,
and they will make you feel loved.
And surround yourself with photographs
of loved ones, and family, and friends,
because a picture can speak a thousand words,
even when that person is no longer with you.
And treat yourself to some flowers once in a while.
Take a little time to love
Making love enriches both lovers
and costs nothing except a little time.
I know this is true. I have experienced it
and so have you.
I have seen some lovers
who have given up and died
because they could not find someone who cared,
someone who could spare a little time.
Thank you for caring
and sharing your time with me.
You have no idea how much I value that.
I don't know the words to tell you.
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